life

late night shenanigans with Dad, he's teaching them some wrestling tricks.

kaLee is preparing for the first time competition dance, she has three competitions coming up, she has worked so hard and this is her first year learning 4 dances. 

Jacy and Abby did mini mohey this year, they loved learning a new dance and performing it in front of the crowd, I'm getting to enjoy it with their cousins. 

Kinsey finally got her secret tube surgery, it was postponed for a month, But her right ear was still actively infected even after her completing her antibiotic a few days before surgery. She's so ng much better now 

We had the opportunity to go watch Kaden get baptized, he has so much light and spark from the spirit in him I can't wait to see where it takes him. 

Life is such a gift, I'm so glad that I get to enjoy it with the many people I have on my life. I'm so blessed to have my husband and 4 daughter's. They are my world I don't know what I would do without them. Cherish every day because each one is a gift. ❤️

cancelled culture

Cancelled culture! In @legitsadierob book who are you following she talks about how Jesus was the most cancelled person in history! 🤯 He continued to do the work weather it was popular or not because he knew what needed to be done, he was there to do the lord's work and not to fit in. How many times do we find ourselves as she said "canceling others out so we don't get cancelled out ourselves?!" 😯 I really thought about that, how many times did we walk away from one friend because you wanted to stay in the group?!? How many times do we talk down about a fellow mom because they are still figuring it out and it's easier to judge?!? My mind is seriously blown why are we trying to fit in and not be cancelled? I would rather be cancelled like Christ and be loving, kind, caring and compassionate. Would you????? Think about that! ❤️

influence

We are influenced every day, by different types of influence, good and bad, it is up to us what influence we choose to let change us. Surrounding ourselves with the type of influence we want is a huge part, iv changed my circle of influence this last year to positive only, directed by the spirit. Strengthening the positive relationships in my life, and letting go of toxic ones, standing up for myself and those in my circle. One thing iv found to be the most helpful is my social media influence, one keeping my posts positive and only following those who aline with my goals of positivity. I used to be afraid to unfollow people because I would hurt them, but in reality they where hurting me! After changing my mindset iv learned to just unfollow those that hurt my mindset or change my positivity. You must worry about yourself before you can start helping others. ❤️

personal commitment

I've been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of latter-day saints my whole life, I've had a testimony most my life, I have felt love for my savior and my heavenly father my whole life. But I've always known that I can continue to grow and learn, I can't even tell you how many times I've read the scriptures, But never really understood what's in them. The past year I've really grown close to my savior and my heavenly father, I've leaned into the gospel more for my own understanding. Something I've really focused on has been the doctrine, learning more about myself and my savior. This year I've started reading the old testament, I began by praying to be able to understand what I was reading and to have my eyes opened to learning, as I've been reading this year so far every night, I've been able to understand what I'm reading, and reading it more like a story rather than just verses. I also have been centering myself around positive, uplifting Christian centered reading. I have loved the books written by Sadie Robertson Huff, talks a lot about our devotion, being able to ground ourself in the gospel and grow before we can share with others. Being Christ-like, being an example, And being someone that is worth following. One of the things that's really stuck out to me is the quote in this picture of being all in. Another is to be real and relatable, in public and private. A public appearance can only last as long as your foundation (make up), put your private appearance last forever and they both should match up. Her books are easy for me to understand and apply to my own life, They are relatable, personal and I've been Just what I'm looking for to surround myself in the gospel. I'm excited to see what this year has in store for me, I'm excited to learn more as I read the scriptures, And I'm excited to read as many christian-centered books as I can this year. ❤️

communication

One thing I have learned is communication is key to most things. After going through marriage counseling in 2015, Shawn and I learned alot about communication, I use to be worried to make him upset, keep the peace, still in that wanted everything to be "perfect" phase of marriage. But turns out when you say everything, and don't hold anything back, you learn more about each other and your marriage evolves. We have the best relationship, our marriage is the best it's ever been because we don't hold anything back. We tease each, we get mad and work through it, we laugh at each other, we talk through everything. But I love it because we never second guess our relationship, we don't hold anything back, because it's help us so much. He's my best friend we tell each other literally EVERYTHING! It took alot, it doesn't happen overnight but it's soooo worth the work. ❤️

be greatful

This man, I can't even put into words how much I love him. We got married at 19, crazy we know, we went through alot of moves together, alot of jobs together, both of us getting our degrees together, 4 kids and multiple losses together and we kept going strong, we both have and continue to fight through anxiety together. He has pushed through his anxiety and accomplished so much, finished the electrical program that was a huge accomplishment because it brought so many triggers. He pushed through and finished his bachelor's degree at SUU. 

he has big dreams for his life and ours, he loves to learn, constantly reading and looking for new things, he never settles, always looking to do better, he is strong! He still battles his anxiety daily but he is kicking it's butt with the help he has found. He's an amazing husband who always takes care of me, he's a dedicated dad, always supports his girls in anything they want to do and a provider to help give us the life we have. 

he always goes above and beyond, always willing to help anyone who needs help. He's a great teacher, takes time to explain things and why. He has the best smile, and he knows how to make me smile, I'm so lucky he's mine and that we are together in this crazy life. Love you Shawn, keeping being you! 

heaven sent

This girl, I didn't realize how much I needed her. After Abby turned two, I got this feeling that another one was not in the cards for us, I cried and cried but became okay with it and moved on. A year later I got this feeling we should try one last time...... My amazing doctor put me on letrazol and progesterone, the first round failed, I told myself two more rounds and I will give up but I would not give up without a fight, I started working out, drinking celery juice, infertility tea, ovulation tests and lots of prayers. The second round was successful! 

I took 20 tests watching the line get darker and darker, watching to make sure it didn't disappear like it has before. first appointment, the Doppler couldn't pick up a heartbeat (I had a feeling before I went that that would happen) they did an ultrasound and found her strong heartbeat

 I have so much scar tissue it was in the way, she grew and grew, so amazing and so perfect, fast forward to birth, it was amazing, Dr pulled her out

 the second I heard her cry  I started crying, relief that she was here and so in love, the anesthesiologist started singing a hymn and I just cried, felt so close to my savior and grandma, they layed her on my chest and I never let go. 

I felt so so happy and so complete, she was so perfect, so calm, so sweet. 

she has taught me to savor every minute, to hold on tight, to pay attention to the little things. 

she was such a good baby, great sleeper, great nurser, rarely cried. 

she was my light at the end of the tunnel

she has taught me so much. 

she has taught me to slow down, to take time to be greatful. To cuddle, to nap, to watch the show. She was sent to me to teach me life is a gift, it is precious, and not something we should take for granted. I'm so grateful heavenly father sent me each of my girls, but so grateful for one more reason to do and be my best. ❤️